Well, what does come next. I am leading a pretty normal life. I live in my own apartment with a roommate. We take care of the apartment and handle bills. I am responsible for getting myself ready to meet my day. I am on a diet and lost four pounds already! I have a guy friend, who I like more than a friend, but we are just friends because he doesn't feel the same about me. I see my parents when I feel like it. I get around town. I don't have job, though, but I volunteer and people count on me. I actually volunteer at a hospital. Two days a week am in medical records doing computer filing and one day a week am in the Nursing Home keeping the residence company.
I still have my bad days were it all seems crappy and I want to leave this world behind. However, I have a good support system and I usually nip problems in the bud. I can usually tell when something is wrong because I can't sleep. So that's when it time to tell the doctor, "Hay something wrong." I see my therapist and there are still issues I work on. However, when I was really sick I usually saw her for an hour, now sometimes because I can find my answer sooner, I am only in the office for a half hour. My therapist is great, she gets me to think about what I said and she coaches me to find my own answer. And in being in therapy for over twelve years, the answer come sooner for me, thus the shorter time.
What I see myself doing five years from now is being married. I would have never thought of that five years ago, if you asked me what my future was like. When I was very sick, I had no interest in dating. Life just seemed to be hard on its own to add a boyfriend to that! I did have guys I liked and I did go on dates, but honestly I didn't see anything serious going to happen. Right now am out there looking for Mr. Right and I feel ready! I also want to adopt a baby. I guess that's another difference with me (beside not having a job). I just don't feel it would be right to carry my own child with all the meds and risks involved. However, if I adopt a child, that will be my own child too! I also see myself being a published author by then. Not famous because poets don't become famous unless they are really good. I am going to share with the blogging world some of my poetry.
Well, I hope people choose to read my poetry and my "journal" entries. They won't be a crazy and symptomatic as they once were, but I'll try to make them exciting.
Hugs and blessings,